Tuesday, July 27, 2010

What is your biggest fear?

I think, every human being in this universe are afraid of something.
It could be something big, something tiny, or even something funny.
Fear. I do have my own list. This is not a lot, but there are couples thing that scares me to death.
But you know what they said, "always do what you are afraid to do “. Well, here it goes.

1. Dark
Thats true. I hate dark. I slept with my room lights flare up until i was 14. Stupid eh? Its electrical waste and useless. Noted that. But what am i supposed to do? I hate dark
ambience and i cant see anything. I feel like i cant control a bit. I get a little nervous being in a house with no lights on because I often see things that aren't there. Drives me nuts. You can't see what is around you and your mind can sort of play tricks on you and your imagination can get involved. I hate coming home with all the lights off and I REALLY hate unexpected blackouts.

2. Heights
I was once happy child who always jumped in here and there, and not afraid of anything. I enjoyed Dufan and im on roller coaster over and over again. But as i get older, I was very scared and often feels dizzy or nauseated when dealing with the heights thingy. I dont do dufan now, i dont jump, i can't even breath when I was in the balcony of a skyscraper building or something.

The first time it occurred to me that I was afraid of heights was in my high school gym class when for some misguided reason, the teacher picked ME to demonstrate how easy the uneven bars are to twirl around. Apart from being afraid of heights, I also do not twirl. When you look at me, i look like a sort of normal person who may be able to do an adequate amount of twirling, but I CANT. I don’t know why. My center of gravity is like a lead weight the size of a goat that I keep in my feet which pretty much insures that they are always touching the ground.

It feels llike butterfly in my stomach, i mean riot butterfly and not in good way of course, my pale face, my hands were shaking and i cant feel my legs. There's just NO WAY im gonna go bungee jumping.

3. Daging Berjaring
How to say it in english? or even in correct technical term? Babat? or what? I have no idea. Kind of meat that usually sold in Sop Kaki Kambing. It has a hollow shapes into small pieces. Kinda gross. So that one day, i have this dream, that i woke up with this thing all over my body. My skin cheeks become hollow and its freaking me out. Know its just a dream, but this is really affecting me. Im scare when i see this thing at groceries. or when i ate Sop Kaki Kambing. When i see this meat, i feel like my cheeks are turning into hollow and its really getting on my nerve. Stupid mind trick!

4. Dentist
and i got a bad teeth.. i mean a really bad teeth and im not kidding. I hate to hear voices in the dentist's drill it makes me shudder. Fuck. I hate dentist cause its scares me with their power to do something on some of my body part and i cant even see it! You know i would rather say, "gelut weh jeung aing!!". Hahaha.. and again, im no kidding you punk! :p

5. Goodbye

It is not just that im scared, its what i hate the most. I hate goodbye and nothing would ever have compare to that! Possibly, this is why i dont like changes. Some people said that we should move out from the 'comfort zone', but im not doing that. Im happy with my life now. I love my parents. I have tons of activities and i got money from it. Its enough for me. People change, people move and saying goodbye to their past, well i dont. I love my past, im a good person, i have mistakes but i even love my mistake. I hate people saying goodbye.

So.. Am I the only one here??!